I knew that doing something for someone else was the answer to the pain I feel at what I have done to women as someone learning midwifery... and one of the wonderful midwives on one of my lists stated this as an idea, too. She suggested a letter and I might do that... burning it... praying/sending love and apologies to the women... that might be the beginning at least.
I can never go back to that place... where I was learning... where so much evil happened. It swirls around my head and makes me dizzy.
I love the daylight and am saddened by its waning already. I can feel December's darkness over my shoulder.
Long, long day ahead.