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Friday
Aug062004

What if Dying...

... really is rebirthing?

A friend asked why I felt like I was going to die and I just said that it was something deep inside... besides the medication side effects, besides the overwhelming fatigue, besides the diagnosis... and she said that it might bear considering that I might actually be dying in a part of me only to be reborn again in some other part.

Epiphany!

In all my knowledge of rebirthing and recreating my Self (for heaven's sake, I have a tattoo on my breast that says: I am a woman giving birth to myself!), this thought had not even occurred to me. Apparently, some things are too close to see.

She did say, too, that if I am dying and I know it as my Truth, that that process needs to be honored, too. I agreed.

But, I have a lighter heart today as I think of the impending death I feel, the incredible urgency to write and tell my stories, the sadness at losing this life before I have tasted every morsel, the pain at all the years I missed by being fat and depressed and angry... and I embrace those feelings... and am loving them... so that I might free them from my Self and my Psyche.

I want to live. I need to live! I have so much to do!

Thanks, friend... you might have saved my sanity.

Reader Comments (1)

Im so crazy about you woman, you cant die on me!

August 10, 2004 | Unregistered CommenterSilverhawke

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