... HIRE A MIDWIFE!
Why in the world would someone wanting a UC expect their husband/partner/man/woman to learn "all there is to know" about complications during birth?!?
Isn't the fact that most of us learn for THREE YEARS plus AND attend dozens and dozens of births and read dozens of volumes of books, midwifery, medical, laboratory, Anatomy & Phyisiology, emotional, spiritual, etc... doesn't any of that offer a CLUE that learning "all there is to know" during a few months of YOUR OWN pregnancy isn't gonna cut it?
Why, when the PARTNER, who is also birthing this baby, why would the PARTNER be expected to observe clinical and emotional roadblocks or stumbling blocks and not be permitted to EXPERIENCE the birth in a place of comfort and peace and with the possibility hanging over his/her head that, if something goes wrong, I didn't see the signs and it is MY FAULT for not seeing it?
I get the part about UCers wanting to be alone. I get that they want to be 100% responsible for their own care (the child's care, be damned, however, since the child sits inside unable to holler if there is an issue occuring). I get that some women have been SO hurt and abused by "caregivers" that they don't want anyone near them.
But, to expect the person you love enough to marry or live with to do something SO out of the range of the ordinary... most of these women wouldn't let their loved one change the oil in the car, yet have no qualms about their taking over the life and safety of their child. I just do NOT understand.
My partner can tell a person how to change the carburator on the car... from Step 1 to Step finished... about 80 steps or so. Can you take the manual and go out and do it yourself? With or without the tutoring sessions? Sure! Might you fuck it up and need to re-do it? Lose parts? Lose your way? Sure! Might you get it right the first time? Sure! But, wouldn't it have been a LOT easier to have someone there to show you the way even as you did the whole thing yourself?
Isn't that the whole meaning behind an apprenticeship of any sort? From construction to mechanics to architecture to teaching? We might be CAPABLE, but do we HAVE to do it alone? Whose ego does it serve to INSIST on doing it alone?
So, you fuck up your car by doing it yourself, you go to a mechanic and get it fixed, or, at worst, you get a new car.
You fuck up the life of your child. You are fucked yourself.
Why do people do that?
I know extremists that could take my arguments and make them arguments for scheduled cesareans. I am not meaning that AT ALL. I am not even advocating hospital births. I am not advocating dis-empowered births. I am advocating REALITY. Who doesn't live in this world enough to know that there are children who need MAJOR help in labor and birth? That women need MAJOR help in labor and birth?
I suggest a day of volunteering at the Special Olympics. Or the March of Dimes.
Head-in-the-Sand Birthing. That is what a UC is.
Go ahead, crucify me.
rant still on, but without a keyboard