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Friday
Oct212005

More Abortion Talk

Via Doulicia's site (and I've been reading you for awhile, too, dear blogfriend!), I found this amazing site written by abortion clinic workers (http://abortionclinicdays.blogs.com/abortionclinicdays/) and after reading the entire blog, I wrote this (I can hardly wait for the avalanche of hatemail!):

Not sure whom to address or if this is the proper place to say how glad I am this blog exists. I'm not thrilled piggy-backing on the hatemails, but really want the creators here to know they are doing a wonderful job. I've worked in clinics, counseled women and girls regarding their options (ALL of them) via Planned Parenthood and my own midwifery practice - and know that the anti-choice-ers are delusional believing this blog is lying or distorting facts; it is not. I have never seen a woman's decision not absolutely encouraged and honored and women who were unsure, encouraged to wait, pray/meditate/think/discuss with loved ones/etc. and make a decision in a day or few.

As a Pro-Choice midwife, I speak with surity and clarity in what a woman is choosing - again, with ALL of her choices. Until anti-choicers have a dozen adopted black babies of crystal meth moms (and I specify race because so many anti-choicers seem to draw the line at adopting out of their race - so christian-like, you know), house half a dozen rape and incest and violence-abused women and their other several children, bring in 12 and 13 year old girls and their babies, sit with a woman in a shelter as she nurses her cracked cheekbone, broken arms, and her 2 week-old baby all at the same time - I don't believe they have ONE CLUE about what a woman "should" do when faced with bringing another baby into the world. Not the white, privileged, affluent world, but the world far too many know that goes beyond receiving prenatal care and a handful of new donated baby clothes before being left alone to cope while Mr. "Pro-Life" eases into his Lincoln Navigator on the way to Sunday Mass.

If, because of Bush's horrid decisions, abortion becomes illegal again, I will learn how to do abortions which, for licensed midwives, is illegal - despite what another poster believes not to be so. There are absolutely regulations regarding who is permitted and not permitted to do abortions. (How can someone not know something so clear in written laws is beyond me. Inability to research is merely a sign of the lack of desire to KNOW - not the best way to argue a point and a great way to be dismissed without being heard.)

Anyway, long-winded way to thank the men and women for reaching out, taking a chance, and risking so much for sharing The Truth - their truth - and the truth of so, so many in this country. Even the "pro-lifers" who come for their abortions more than any "pro-lifer" would ever want to admit. More than once, I've held an anti-choice hand during her abortion one day and driven by her two days later as she spit on my car as I drove through their protest line. Never have I seen more hypocrisy in any other community than in this anti-choice one.

Stay strong and true, my invisible friends.

Reader Comments (5)

Barb, I have been reading your blog a while, and I'm also in the doula group. I just wanted to drop a note, since I do follow along.

I am what you refer to as "Pro-Life". Given your quotes and obvious vehemence, am I right to assume that you don't recognize the difference between pro-life and anti-choice? I'm just a bit concerned since you seem to lump every pro-choice/anti-lifer into the same "delusional", "unchristian", and "hypocritical" lump. While I don't at all condone the behavior you have experienced (spitting, etc.), I do hope that you can consider a more compassionate viewpoint for others of differing opinions.

As a doula, of course I recognize the importance of CHOICE for pregnant women. I would never, ever vilify a woman for making that choice - or for her personal stance on the issue.

As a poor/mixed race (white-hispanic)/previously abused/previous drug user/decidedly unaffluent woman, I completely understand why a woman might choose such a route. As a spiritual woman, however, I happen to believe that every child and every situation is given to us at the time in our life when we need it. I would encourage any woman to keep the child to term, if physically possible, and allow it to be adopted by a loving family who has tried, but been unable, to have children. My personal belief is that God sends a child if it's meant to be here, and we have no business killing it. HOWEVER, I would not force my belief - legally or otherwise - on anyone else.

Yes, I would adopt a child of a different race, or one with medical difficulties (if I was certain I could provide whatever it needed). It is one of my life goals, in fact. Yes, I have considered abortion as a choice for myself. I have kept both of my unplanned pregnancies, and couldn't be happier with my choices.

I would never support the government telling women what they could or could not do to their bodies. I was outraged to read the article on another blog, where a prison inmate was denied the abortion that she wanted.

I sincerely hope that this does not come across as hatemail, but I did feel the need to speak up for my 'ilk' and point out that it is not quite so black-and-white as you continually present it here on your blog. I know this is a spot for your personal beliefs, but I really hope that you can respect all women for their choices, even if they choose to support life. Then, after she has spit on you, feel free to label her any number of foul names. I just hope that you won't hold her actions against the many other men and women who only choose to respectfully disagree.

October 21, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAhavah

See, now THIS is a coherent discussion! Thank you!

Of course I "see" the other side. The comment I wrote was specific to the blog I was reading and the horrid words extremists were using against pro-choicers.

I *do* recognize the difference and appreciate... absolutely appreciate and understand... why people have a stand different than my own. It is when the topic becomes polarized that my post addresses... not in the mature and respectful discussion of different viewpoints and strong beliefs - religious or otherwise.

I thank you for speaking up and I *am* friends and have clients that are pro-life men and women just as I am friends and have clients that are born-again Christians - people that are supposed to hate people like me according to the mass propaganda of our country. Well, it ain't true!

(I am reminded of how amusing it always is to hear people say: Oh, my best friend is gay! I don't mean it like that... I don't think.)

Anyway, yes, this blog is my forum, but I also believe it is a dialogue and this blog has seen many of my values and beliefs questioned and shifted because of responses and comments of others.

Thank you for taking the time to write. It means so much.

October 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

Barb, thanks for clarifying! I only asked because I have noticed a couple posts on the same theme since I've begun following along.

I have to admit, I didn't read the blog you linked. After you mentioned "piggy backing on the hatemail", I decided to skip it. It was 3 am my time, and that was just something I didn't want to devote my energy to right before bed. *grin* Maybe I should have read it before I posted, but I was curious.

I'm truly sorry for the hypocricy and abuse you've suffered at the hand of extremeists. I wish people would understand that it's all about Free Will, and the only person anyone needs to answer to is God. (That's right, not me or my preacher...) The woman who spit on you after her own abortion, well, I can only imagine that she was overflowing with many emotions that she was not equipped to control at the time. Hopefully she regrets her actions and is ashamed. (Of the spitting, not the abortion!)

And my beloved supported his ex (my close friend) through an abortion.

LOL Well, my best friend is gay, too ...

October 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterAhavah

Barb,

I actually got to your blog via the comment you made over there, and I wanted to say it was much appreciated.

As I posted on the abortion clinc days blog, I was Pro-Life, too. Up until I turned twenty, was raped and got pregnant as a result. I'm now Pro-Choice.

Anywho, no hate mail here. :-) It's nice to see such wonderful comments over there because sometimes the slew of hateful ones is discouraging. For me. I can't imagine how it makes the writers feel.

October 22, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterZube Girl

Zube girl:

Thank you so much for coming over and sharing your thoughts regarding the post. I promise to venture to your blog as well... asap!

October 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

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