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Diet Coke

We were excited to be invited to a party last night. Two dykes asked us to come to their home for a double birthday party and meet a group of business dykes as an aside.

So, we're at the party and talking to one woman who is surviving breast cancer (we seemed to share the same hairstylist) and another couple who moved from New York City recently (including the psychologist), to another woman who seemed extremely wary of us at first, but warmed up later, and more. There were women we never met at the party, but many sat and yacked with us about how my partner and met (they found it amazingly humorous that we met at a breastfeeding support group meeting), about the cocci, about cancer healing, and what she and I do in our lives.

We are pretty darn colorful. I find it weird when the conversation stops and all eyes in the area are talking to us, asking us questions, and then everyone listening as we share our well-honed stories. (My partner has got to stop sharing that we had squirting wars, though. Dykes just don't get the humor in that.)

I did not talk about placentas in the refrigerator. Or vaginas. Or birth stories.

Several women asked if I caught the hosts' child and I smiled and said, "nope." I didn't add that they didn't even want me for their doula and then ended up with a cesarean. No, I kept that part to myself.

So, we're saying our good-byes. My partner and I were the youngest women there at the beginning of our 40's. It was 10:00pm.

Honey gathers up my 2 Diet Cokes with Splenda and makes a comment about the blue cap and how she didn't recognize it in the fridge.

One of the birthday girls looks at me and says, "You know those are bad for you." And, just about sick of everyone making comments to me about my Diet Coke, I said to her, "Hmmm, should we find what you do that isn't healthy and pick at it?" I was, for a second, horrified that it came out of my mouth. And then, I just stood my ground and stared at her in the eyes. She was nearly toe to toe with me, too.

She was kind of baffled, but her face didn't register confusion too well (Botox? too many anti-depressants?), but she looked at me funny. I said, "You know, I work in a holistic healthcare office and I have to hear that all the time." And she moves away and says, "oh, well, I bet you do... blah blah blah." I made one defensive comment that sounded like, "At least it's made with Splenda and not Nutrasweet!" and then I stopped because I just don't give a crap to defend myself.

Why do people feel they have to poke at me? About something like Diet Coke? It's not like I'm smoking or shooting heroin or anything. On the way home, I told my partner I need to come up with some good comebacks.

You know, Diet Coke isn't good for you.

Really? Wow, no one has ever told me that before.

You know, Diet Coke isn't good for you.

Well, I'm weaning the vodka out of it, isn't that a better choice?

You know, Diet Coke isn't good for you.

You know, people who pick at other people, especially a total stranger, aren't very nice.


Still no baby.

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