- As I was driving to work this early morning, the moon was HUGE and close over the mountains. I was going to stop to take a picture, but by the time I could, it was small and far away again. How does that happen? I don't understand how the moon can be on one side of the road one minute and then the other side of the road the next, either. It's weird out here in California. In Florida, the moon stays where it's supposed to and stays the same size, too. I'm sure it's some math thing. Probably algebra.
- So, I'm at a client's today and talking about the births from September (hers included) and said something like, "the births were all in the toilet." Now isn't that the nicest image you want of your birth coming from your midwife's mouth? What a dork I am. What I meant was from a midwifery standpoint they were not the most fabulous births. From a healthy, wondrous mothery/babery standpoint, they were glorious births. I need to be careful not to bleh stupid crap in front of clients. It hurts their hearts. (Sorry, hon.)
- I was thinking, I keep picking on what I have done wrong lately. Let's find something I have done right.
- I painted one of my mamas' toenails (my cesarean mama) because she won't be able to get them done for awhile. She sat and ate spaghetti and salad out on the back porch while I filed and did her toenails a pretty pink for her baby girl and breast cancer month.
- I'm dishing out B12 shots like candy. Isn't that a good thing? laughing
- It's an interesting state of mind that I'm having such a hard time thinking of good things. Shame on me.
- My aunt has lung, liver, bone and breast cancer from 50 years of smoking. She told my mom she probably should have quit before she did (which was last week). She started chemo yesterday. Her prognosis isn't very good (of course). This aunt was the first person I ever saw breastfeeding when I was a child. She was cloistered away in a bedroom nursing my cousin and all the womenfolk were allowed in, the kids kept out, but somehow, I slipped in once or twice. It was way cool to see her using her breasts to feed her baby! I'd never seen anything like it before and didn't see anything again until I nursed my own child about 15 years later. I'll call her and thank her for being the only example of breastfeeding in my life - which led to La Leche League becoming the major changing influence in my parenting and birthing world. When I was pregnant the first time, she told me about LLL, but I didn't listen very well. The second time, I embraced LLL with everything in my being. If it weren't for LLL, I wouldn't be the woman I am now, nor would my children be the kids they are. I thank LLL every day for teaching me the way to be a calm, gentle, loving and non-violent parent to my children. My kids thank them, too... they just don't know it all the time.
- My puppy has pica. He salivates when I get ice from the refrigerator and it is a requirement that we drop at least one piece of ice from the machine when we walk by there. He chews ice like a sexually frustrated pica-monster. Think it's an iron deficiency? Ha!
- When a mom calls and tells you her three week old is really hungry and needs to eat so much she has to give him 6 ounces of formula every day and is considering giving the baby cereal, what is the first thing that should come to your mind?
TELL THE GRANDMOTHERS TO BE QUIET!
Both grandmothers are visiting and they are constantly telling this new mama how to tend to the baby, whom she was perfectly able to take care of before they were there. Her breasts are perfect, her milk is wonderful, she is a great mom. She simply opened the door to criticism by saying she was tired. I lovingly told her she could call me and tell me how tired she was all day long if she wanted to, but that she needed to smile happily and pretend she never needed sleep when they were around or they would think they had free reign to offer advice.
I also explained the frequent feeding of 3's and 6's (3/6 days/weeks/months) and that there was a lot of activity in the house, so of course the baby was going to want to remain close to mom by nursing. She said she understood and now, several days later, she has virtually eliminated the formula and the comments from the grandmothers.
What she wanted to know was how I knew her mom and mother-in-law were saying things and leading the charge on the formula front? I laughed and told her I've been doing this a looooooooong time. I recognized the symptoms from extremely secure mother to unsure questioning herself mother easily. She was very glad I could pinpoint it so easily and enlisted her husband to help with his mom who will be there a lot longer than hers will be. I told her this was the time to be strong... it will lay the foundation for the rest of their lives in a great direction of strength and togetherness as a husband and wife. It's just hard at first, but gets easier with practice.
- I haven't even wanted a Diet Coke since starting the Topamax. The words still fall out of my mouth when ordering, though, so it's in my DNA, I think.
- They closed all the Krispy Kreme stores but one in San Diego. It is so bizarre that Krispy Kreme isn't thriving, but with the skinny-ness of Southern California, I suppose it isn't so weird after all. I even know people here who find Krispy Kremes yucky. Heresy! Before the gastric bypass, I used to eat a dozen KK at a time. With a Diet Coke, of course.
- Does anyone else have a poltergeist in their lives? We're missing the can opener. And the salt shaker was gone for 2 days. That's back, but still no can opener. You'd think we'd go get a new one, but no, we keep waiting for the old one to show up and just stare at the cans thinking of archaic ways to open them. Stab the can with a butcher knife? Use the tiny camping tool the Army gave my partner 20+ years ago? Use the thing on the Swiss Army Knife collection? Never eat canned food again?
(I know what you're thinking... who doesn't have an electric can opener? WE DON'T! We hate them! Bet you're laughing thinking we'd love one right about now. You're probably right!)
- One of my kidlets is getting married in 2 weeks. I got a pretty chocolate (of course) dress to wear, but it needs some - um... lightening up - so I am going to sew some pink Swarovski crystals around the hem's border. I also got some basic brown sparkly beads to sprinkle around, too, if I have enough time and energy to sew them on. I have about 200 pink crystals to sew on. Should be interesting since I've never sewn a bead on anything in my life. Probably should get started.
- At one of my mom's houses last week, I had to look at something and her husband pulled out a flashlight that could have lit the way for the Queen Elizabeth II from Europe. When he turned it off, we couldn't see for about 10 minutes, but let me tell you, that thing lit up the area I needed to see something fierce! He said it was a mere $20 or so at Home Depot or some such and was a bazillion candlewattages or something. I want one to 1. sew these beads on with 2. sew perineums with.
- One of my families is gifting me with an Aqua Doula!!!! How flippin' cool is that?! They are dang expensive, those things. We will be able to rent it out to folks who want it for their births. I am so excited that I get to own one. I was shocked as all get out... and so touched that they would give such a generous gift. WOW!
Okay, I'm gonna go figure out how to thread a needle. Which end gets the thread?