It's been interesting being accepted into the Grand Rounds along with the big boys and girls. I happily share my pieces and then, when Tuesday rolls around, I re-read my submission and wince thinking, "I should have edited this better!"
The great majority of my writing here is stream of consciousness. I barely edit at all and having a gift for spelling and grammar, I don't have to do a lot of copyediting, either. Sometimes my fingers move faster than they should and a couple of typos slip through that I don't see until I re-read the piece the next day on the blog itself. I edit it then.
In school, I write essays. I take my stream of consciousness and edit the hell out of it. When I write articles, I remove the extraneous words, the silly repetitive phrases and even much of the hyperbole. My work, while still sounding like me, isn't as drama-filled or intense as my writing here.
My absolute favorite blogger-as-writer is a Psychiatrist who never fails to mesmerize me with her words. Her blog, Intueri: to contemplate, weaves stories of psychosis with touches of compassion and confusion. Her humor sparkles through the all-too-often frightening realities of mental illness in the United States. If she had a book, I'd be buying it and giving it to all of you. I pray some editor picks her up and publishes her.
I read my work and it is shit compared to Intueri's. Not just different, but just so not good. I aspire to improve though and wonder if I wrote in Word instead of in the blog itself, perhaps I would edit more and be happy with my work.
I wonder if I should edit some of the older pieces that could sound more professional and perhaps find a wider audience in the Grand Rounds community. What I don't want is the Grand Rounds readers to take one look at my pieces and roll their eyes and click out of the blog. I really want to be heard and perhaps being more professional in my writing could do that.
And then I know that my stream of consciousness is enjoyed by many, too. And I write for them, too. I laugh remembering my strange foray into writing fiction. It was like writing with my left (non-dominant) hand. Strange, difficult, almost painful. Writing non-fiction is easy, pleasant and amusing to me. Why would I try to write differently?
I wonder how other blog writers tend to these thoughts. Do you edit before putting your writing up on your blog? Or do you just write and write and hope it comes out coherently once you hit send.
Maybe I'll edit a little... and just keep writing more.