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Thursday
Jun292006

Placenta and Tongue

My favorite blogger-as-writer Maria of Intueri has challenged those of us who write to:

Write a super cheesy, super dramatic, and super nauseating piece related to clinical medicine. Make your readers roll their eyes, groan out loud, and rush to the nearest bathroom with your histrionic work of art. Leave them no option but to feel absolutely overwhelmed with emotion or shake you for your smarminess…

She also asked:

the word count be less than 400
the story describe an encounter between two entities (indicated in the title)
the piece be written in vernacular language (versus clinical medicalese)


Here ya go!

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?!”

“Hey, I’m just the traveler of the fingers and that crazy lady who keeps thinking I’m the best thing since sliced bread.”

“Oh my God. Could you please get out of my mouth? My taste buds don’t know what section you belong in!”

“Oh, just chew already.”

talking to the teeth

“Try it, you’ll like it!”

teeth suspended mid-chomp

“Oh, c’mon… just get it over with.”

“Oh, yeah… masticate me, baby. Mmm. Oh, yeah, that feels sooooo good. Oh, yeah! Roll me around on your surface... I feel you, such a delicious massage you give.”

“I’m going to make her puke. Why the hell couldn’t she have made that thing into a shake or a stew? Why raw? Why? WHY?”

“Lick me. Love me. Salivate all over me. Make me yours. Swallow me. Swallow me!”

gulp

puke

“And I thought tasting placenta going down was great. I was wrong! There is nothing better than tasting placenta coming back up!”

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Reader Comments (6)

*BLECH*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao!!!!!

June 29, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

OH MY GOODNESS!!!
I so needed something funny/wicked (in a clever way) to keep me from absolutely diving off the deep end this afternoon.
THANK YOU!
Wonder if it would taste different thawed? I have daughters placenta in the freezer....
EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!
K

June 29, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermm

PMSL can't help but chuckle to myself while remincising about preparing my 2nd sons placenta recently!!

June 29, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterloz

YOU WINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! ICK!

:)

Hh

AAAAHHHH! I didn't think you could gross me out. I was wrong.

June 30, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterShylah

tell me this is fiction!! LOL

July 6, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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