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Thursday
Jun082006

Premonitions

What do you all do when you get premonitions about a birth yet to come? I have had them before and most of the time they come true (not always).

Is this a case of To Think Is To Create? Is this why UCers say midwives shouldn't be at births? Because of fears that come along with her? Do moms and dads and family members have these types of premonitions, too? Do they listen to them? Is that considered fear-mongering, too?

I had that premonition with the hospital birth (from March) and it played out nearly exactly as it came to me half a day before. I didn't expect it at all since FHTs were so wonderful even a minute before the birth. The baby needed some serious help, but recovered nicely after a few minutes of assistance.

This time, I have had a premonition of a water birth with the FHTs going down, down and the baby coming out needing much more help than I've ever had to give before (even chest compressions). I have played it out - what would I do - and I get more and more scared the more I "see" this happening.

Do I call EMS as I hear heart tones going down? (Not something I would typically do.) Do I risk her out for a premonition? Do I release the fears/thoughts and enter the home filled with belief and trust, yet remain my normal alert self?

I've told my assistant of the premonition and she doesn't seem concerned. I felt better after sharing it, but it has come back full force this evening. In that half place between sleep and awake, I could see the entire scenario again - unfolding in front of my eyes as I calmly worked on a baby who wouldn't revive.

I get so worried about these thoughts. I worry so much that I am creating the drama that might be in front of me. I really do not operate in fear - so what do I do with this?

If I were a pie chart (another post long ago), fear would be about 2% of me in birth. Alertness would fill the rest.

In another pie, 80% is belief and trust. 20% knows the randomness of some births and remains at the ready for them.

In this birth's pie chart, I feel 40% fear and concern/worry. Maybe less now that I am speaking the fear here. (But, not much.)

Do I belong at this birth? Or am I going to make a mess of it all because of my worries.

Does my heightened attention benefit the mom and baby in case they need help?

How do other midwives/care providers deal with this? Am I the only one who suffers from these disconcerting thoughts and visions?

Do I believe in fate? Or does everything happen randomly and in the moment?

I certainly can't be all that powerful as to create chaos, can I? (Writing it out, it seems an absurd thought!)

Am I just dealing with fears and worries in dreams so I can let them go at the client's door?

This is what I hope.

Reader Comments (3)

You know more than you are able to access on a conscious level. A "premonition" does not arise out of nothing. This doesn't mean that the premonition will come true, but just that you shouldn't always ignore it.

June 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterMed Student Lurker

I've had one birth related premonition--the birth of my dc. I believe we are not given premonitions without some kind of knowledge. But we need to listen to our gut. Sometimes it may just be a peaceful knowing that something is going to happen & there is nothing that can be done. Other times we are given the warning & knowledge to change things. What happens before the decels...is there an action/intervention in the hours or days before that might eventually stress that young one?

In my case, the premonition was accompanied by knowing I needed to keep two people away from my birth...I didn't heed the warning...the premonition came true...a bad scene. My dc is alive and seems to have recovered well...me, not sure I'll ever fully recover.

Even given that experience, I would try not to impose my fears onto another's birth...but I would be listening to that mom carefully. She may have the knowledge, if you have not been given it.

I'm not working as a birth professional; so my views may not be relevant.

Dee

June 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have had premonitions and there are times at a birth that something stands out to me to do- then I pay attention-
I try not to attend births with a busy mind of any kind preoccupation - fears, family business or what ever I have to let go of and just try to be present right now.
If I have fear building at a birth I speak up- talk the gals I work with or I listen more rule out something- change what is going on. Many times I think it is probably something a sign or similarity that I am not consciously thinking about.
One time I did have a vision- a daydream- of a birth I missed- someone came down the hill to get me and they were wound up I said- she has already had the baby lets get some juice and a few other things they need up there- probably just took 10min for the short stop- and sure enough while I was "seeing her give birth she was" there seemed to be something else that was around-- (another light blob) and I felt that is what helped them-- because these folks had no phone a few days later they had got a telegram saying dad's grandma had died the same day the baby was born- at around the same time-- they told me - you know we felt that she must have been in the room helping us have the baby-- I was sure of it ( I did not share my vision with them because they were already suspicious of me because I used herbs and were worried I might be a witch or something) { but I had told my family before I left the house and a woman who lived up the hill near them, because she got there just about the same time as me- and I said no worries the baby is already born-later I explained to her more}

June 8, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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