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Open Letter to UCers

Dear Sisters in Birth,

I wanted to encourage you to use me. Use me as your allie in birth, not your enemy. Let me tell you why.

I throw questions your way. I encourage you to lob the answers back instead of ducking and hiding from them. If you aren't able to formulate those answers, FIND THEM. Within yourselves. Amongst yourselves.

If I ask hard questions that you are confused about and need exploration before deciding, great! Take the time and explore.

If you are scared by my questions, explore the fear. Try it on. Wear it for awhile. Figure out what to do with it... keep it? Or toss it in the burn pile. YOU get to decide. No one else. Not your leader. Not your community. Not your friends. YOU. If you wear the fear and it is comfortable and you can work with it, then, by all means, keep it and love it! Fear is NOT always the enemy. It is sometimes the impetus for growth and movement forward. Keep moving forward.

I encourage you to find cement and stand deep within it as the wind of criticism blows. If you are going to be on the outer edge of what others find comfortable, you MUST stay strong in your beliefs and convictions. If I can make you nervous, worried, afraid or angry, whatever will you do when it is the very cruel press shoving you up against the wall forcing you to justify what you believe? I know you shouldn't have to justify it to anyone, but if you are writing in a public forum (be it books, articles, blogs, emails, lists, etc.), those that disagree are bound to come across it and question you about it... and not always in the nicest of terms, either. BE STRONG.

Take my curiosity, my fears, my concerns, my thoughts, my love for birth... USE ME to shore up your defenses and find that place of absolute surity within yourselves.

I am more than glad to be your allie in learning. You most certainly are in mine.

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    - Navelgazing Midwife Blog - Open Letter to UCers

Reader Comments (4)

We (birth junkies of all ilks) are all blessed to know you and be able to "use" you as our birth ally--UCers included.


Right on, Birth Sister, right on!
This is true of anything. My biggest request of anyone is that they have conviction for what they believe. BUT that their conviction is open to listening, open to "wearing the fear", open to riding the tidal wave and drinking it in until...they come right back to that place of conviction in their hearts...or choose a new one.

August 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Thank you. Ask away, it was a long hard road to get where I am and I feel very solid. Learning is what I love best on this earth besides my family.

August 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenteruclady

This is my first time on your blog, but will not be my last...
I am not yet a Ucer but I will be quite soon... my journey to UC has brought me to exactly the place that you are talking about... I have grown much in the last few months of taking care of myself, I no longer need to look outside of myself for confidence, i have it, yet I have also accepted my own limits. I am in a peaceful place now, and just in wait for the imminent birth.
Thank you for writing this...

November 7, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterpaxye

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