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San Diego Ablaze

Deja Vu.

It is so painful to be watching the fires rage through the county where I live again. We've been told this is at least twice as bad as it was 4 years ago.

Four years ago, the fires were across the street and the bulldozers carved gashes in the dirt, bringing the deadly coccidioides immitis spores up from the dirt and into the air where I breathed them and contracted Disseminated Coccidiomycosis and lived on fluconazole (Diflucan) for three years and Acyclovir for two years, dealing with incredible pain, spinal meningitis every 6 weeks for over a year (until the Acyclovir came on board), baldness from the fluconazole, skin sores that were the hallmark of disseminated cocci that wept and caused even my pillow case's pressure to make me cry.

I was pronounced "in remission" several months ago... I say I am cured.

These fires scare me.

I had to go out this morning and get gas, but I am back in the house, hunkered down with the puppies, house slammed shut, air on re-circulate, my oxygen tanks sitting next to me (I'm having a hard time breathing because of the smokiness, even in the closed up house) - I am doing everything in my power to stay away from bulldozers.

The fires are several miles from me, but they are on the streets of clients. One of the streets named is a client I helped have two babies; I can't reach her. Another client owns horses and they have been evacuated to the Del Mar Fairgrounds, which is now full. Another client has moved to her beach house. Others are going to family homes north, others, towards the coast.

My office is in the line of fire. My sister-in-law went in this morning and took the server, some important papers and irreplaceable pictures of the kids on the walls and is heading back home. I wish she hadn't gone in at all. I was on my way in, too, but Sarah stopped me. I wanted to grab the client's charts. She said, "If they burn, they burn... nothing we can do about it." I cried.

So, I'm watching the news sporatically. Enough to keep informed, but not enough to make me crazy. And I promise to stay away from bulldozers, take tokes off my oxygen periodically (thanking goodness they are full and I have two of them!) and do some writing. I'm keeping busy... doing laundry, the floors, reading... and working on work stuff.

Good thoughts are welcome.

Southern California needs them.

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    - Navelgazing Midwife Blog - San Diego Ablaze
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Reader Comments (17)

You are definately in my thoughts & prayers. Try to stay calm...possessions can be replaced, people and pets cannot. Stay safe.

October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am sending my best vibes for healthy air and for this to pass quickly.....so scary, and I am so sorry.

October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterHousefairy

Please be safe. I'm sending prayers and good energy your way.
Thank you for the email with your opinion about pregnancy post leep. Take care of yourself.

October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterGwenhwyfar

I was thinking about y'all. It is yucky here too. I hope this passes with everyone ok. Thinking of ya.

October 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDebstmomy

Have been thinking about you since I saw this on the news, this afternoon, wondering how close you are. Positive vibes winging their way across the world as I type.... Take care, and stay safe.

October 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterTrin RM

sending you all clear air thoughts and especially you - i hope that none of this touches your life in personal ways.


October 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSage Femme

oh honey, i wish i could've sent you some of the rain we got yesterday!

do you have a respirator? are those effective against cocci?

barb from new orleans

October 23, 2007 | Unregistered Commenternolabarb

I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. I live in OC, but have a home up in Lake Arrowhead, as well, so we are getting it from both ends.

Please take good care of yourself.

October 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDebra Whaley

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles...I never knew about such an infection...how horrible!!!
You are in my prayers. Be well, and safe.

October 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

thinking the best thoughts i can for you!
our best to you in this terrible time...and take care of you!

October 24, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterbrandann

You've definitely been on my mind lately. I met you when you were in the midst of your illness. ((HUGS))

October 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I have been thinking about you all day, my friend. I'm saying prayers for you and your family. If you can escape, my castle is yours. Come and play at Disney World. I miss you!

October 25, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

Hope you're doing okay through all this. I've been praying for you, and for your clients too. I can't imagine how stressful it must be. :(

October 26, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSarahthedoula

Even though we are half a world away both Dave and I watch the papers and the net.
We are thinking of you all.

October 27, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Make your indoor fortress fun, have a good time despite the madness (and sadness). I have many classmates here from that area, a whole country away from their families. I hope it ends soon.

October 27, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLoving Pecola

please give us an update! hard to tell what's happening by you specifically by watching the news.


October 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterNOLABarb

Oh my GOD! You're there?! I'm so sorry I haven't come by sooner. I don't think I really connect with the various parts of the US and link them to the bloggers I chat with, whose blogs I visit. I'm so sorry the ash is effecting you! Is it silly to ask if you have a mask, like a gas mask contraption you can use when you absolutely have to leave the house? In anycase, well wishes from far north. I'm hoping you're safe and that you stay that way, Navelgazer.

P.S., if you have a moment, the reason I came by is because RedSpiral has had a cesarean and I think she's having a bit of post traumatic stress, difficulty connecting with the baby, conflicting emotions.

If you have a moment, could you please go visit with her and see what can be done? I'm stumped.


October 29, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDark Daughta

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