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Orlando has been stormy. The weather hasn't been so bad yet, but is supposed to be more rainy with thunder and lightning. I love lightning. (I always start out writing "lightening" - when a baby drops into the pelvis.) I don't love the tornadoes that seem to be much more common than when I was a child, though. Those are very sad to see. I'd hate to experience one.

My step-mother has been up and down ill. Some days are better than others. I have worked hard helping and am glad to do it. It is truly a midwifing of the other end of the spectrum... the body fluids, the showering, the consoling, the holding, the helping to amuse in the most morose of moments... very familiar territory for me.

Without giving you all an explanation, the investigation has been dropped. Quietly, and without comment, join my jubilation.

I like my dad a lot. He has been sharing a lot of his childhood with me in Cuba. Things I never knew about him! Really cool things. Apparently, some of the cousins got a hold of old pictures and are scanning them and passing them around the email-family and asking, "who's this?" My dad laughs at some since they are from 20 years before he was born and he wonders how he is supposed to know who the heck they are. Soberly, I remarked that one day, people will pop in the archaic cd and look at pictures of me and my family and say, "Who the hell is that?" and someone else will retort, "How am I supposed to know?" Somewhere, I will be sad. We can't even write on the back of cd's and dvd's like we can pictures. How do we label them? How do you label them?

It must be hard when the mailman brings more medicine in the mail than actual mail. It must be hard with it takes a Tupperware container to hold all the meds and a written schedule to keep it all in order. It must be so hard to live with needle marks from infusions, insulin shots and port changes. It must be horrible to not be able to get a glass of water for yourself, to brush your own teeth, shower for yourself, wipe yourself, or need help rolling over in bed most of the time.

It gives me so much to think about.

I thank the Goddess for my increasing health and wellness. I give thanks for my life. I stepped out the other day and walked for 8 hours, didn't nap. Didn't sit for 2 hours somewhere. Didn't hurt for 3 days afterwards. My heart might be hurting, but my body is thriving!

Time to put my step-mom to nap.

Reader Comments (5)

I have been thinking about you, and God yes, I share your jubilation.

And on becomin forgotten. I remember as a teenager, my dad came back from a dump (he'd bought a busness and was tidying out the warehouse) with a photo of a brother and sister probably taken in the early 20th Century. He couldn't bear that someone had just thrown it away. I kept it for a while, but, well, of course, we didn't know who they were. Made me sad.

March 3, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercooler*doula

Hi!!! I'm waving wildly at you because I live in Orlando! Too bad you came just a few days too late, we just had a heatwave over the past week and a cold snap the week prior!

Glad to hear that things are moving in a more positive direction for you. When you write about the ups and downs of midwifery it reminds me of listening to my voice mail when I used to work at a commission-only sales job. One moment I was elated (I got the sale!!), the next despondent because of a huge cancellation or someone else getting my sale. I can absolutely empathize with how you must feel some days, if only in a abstract sort of way!

Hang in there, and enjoy the stormy weather.


March 3, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterI am a Monkey's Momma

I love to read your words about siblings. As much as I am different than my siblings, they are a part of me like no one else. The love I have for them is a very accepting love. We may not always get along, but no one understands my childhood more than they do. Even with the differences in how we interprete it.

Blessings on your step mother and your sister. And blessings on you for doing the most loving thing a human being can do: care for the dying. Love and peace.

March 4, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your photos reminded me of the magic we experienced in DisneyWorld almost 3 years ago. My mom passed away in January, we had planned the trip for all 6 of us and only 5 of us made it. She loved fireworks...during that incredible display my Dad and I held hands and cried. My daughter met Cinderella and you would have thought she had beheld the face of the Goddess...lol. BUt the sheer joy in her eyes is a memory I treasure with all my heart.

When my Mom got sick, my Dad was her caretaker. I was there for the last week and my Dad was so emotionally and physically worn out those tasks fell to me. Parenting a parent is a unique experience. It's incredibly sad, to know that so much of their independence is gone. It's also a gift, especially for a daughter who never got along so well with her Mom.

When the investigation piece was removed, I worried. I'm thrilled to know that this has worked out in a positive way. Enjoy your spring storms and enjoy your time with your family.

March 5, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJo

apparently, there are programs now that allow you to add voice narratives to picture files. sounds like a really cool way to label those digital pictures with more than just a abbreviated filename.

I had an estranged family member send me a whole packet of those little square photos from the 40s and 50s a year ago. I wonder if she was being passive aggressive, because she had to know that I have no clue who those people are, and she does, and she didn't include any captions or text or anything. In a way, I'd rather not have them. But they are so compelling, I can't imagine getting rid of them!

March 28, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterthat big girl

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