... are just gross.
Now, I know nurses read my blog and there are some really wonderful ones of y'all here, but I have had to listen to clients and doulas in the last few days as they contend with nurses that make you just want to throw up.
- During an OB hospital tour, the OB nurse said to the group, "Oh, and we have this dandy little drug called pitocin... you'll just love it!"
- While a woman labored on pitocin and wasn't yet 2cm, contracting, nor asking for medication, the nurse berated her for being a martyr and not taking the epidural. When the woman disappeared into the bathroom, the tirade continued towards the doula who was so bewildered, she sat staring at the floor. (I role played with the doula how to counter such behavior with a nurse in a positive, yet power-full way.) This woman had no such issue AT ALL about epidurals, but they were so confused by her accusations, they didn't even think to tell her she'd planned to have one once the pain got her to a place where she was ready for one.
- A (different) woman with ruptured membranes (they'd been broken for awhile) was put on pitocin and found to be 2cm dilated. 3 hours later, they wanted to check her again. 3 HOURS LATER?!? What the hell did they think they were going to find?!? The head of a baby?!? When the woman was still 2cm, the nurse heaved a sigh and tsk'd tsk'd that this just might not work after all. AFTER 3 HOURS. The woman did, indeed, have a cesarean a few hours later.
- In trying to court our magnificent doctor to another hospital, the nursing staff gathered together and woo'd him this way:
"Dr. Wonderful, if you come to The-Highest-Epidural/Induction/Cesarean-Rate-In-This-City-Hospital, you wouldn't work nearly as hard as you do now! Why, we have the women come in right when they start labor, they get "their" epidurals at 2cm, we pop in a birth video for them, they play cards and laugh with their families... it's so easy! You come in for 5 minutes at the end... or, if they need surgery, you come in for 20 minutes tops. Doesn't that sound so much better than what you do now?"
He said he was staying at the hospital he was already at. He was just made Chief of OB there, too. Hurrah!
My doula friend reacted perfectly to her experiences with these nurses. Her mouth gaping open, her eyes bugging out, her face bright red, she just shook her head side to side with disbelief. Finally she screamed out, "THIS SHIT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!!!"
And so it should.