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Let's Chuckle for a Sec

- Aimee telling me about trying to call my dad’s house today:

“Mom, I keep calling, but the phone is disconnected.”

“Do you have the right number? It’s 407-*55-%4*5.”

“Yes, but when I call it goes ‘beep beep, beep beep’.”

“Oh, honey… you’re so cute! That’s a busy signal!”

blank look

“When a phone doesn’t have call-waiting, it gives you a busy signal.”


- My other daughter, a wedding planner, had a disastrous wedding this weekend. If you weren’t the bride, some of this is hee-sterical.

Apparently, the manager of the location had a bug up her butt about my precious child, not seeing why the bride wanted a wedding coordinator and was doing everything in her power to destroy the wedding.

-- The outdoor location wasn’t sprayed as was in the contract, therefore there were bugs everywhere. When it came time to cut the cake, it was “sprinkled” with tiny black bugs. My child tried to scrape them off, but the bride saw them first and had a COW and wouldn’t eat even one bite of her wedding cake. Apparently, the guests thought the chocolate sprinkles were delish and devoured the cake. (Child o’ mine is going to get the bride a new cake for after her honeymoon.)

-- When everyone was sitting down to dinner, the bride came screaming her head off from over the hill. My daughter ran to her side as the bride was screeching about “A bug! A bug!” A bug had gotten onto the bride’s dress and was crawling up her leg… and found its way into her UNDERWEAR! My modest child had to dig around in the bride’s chonis to extract the huge beetle.

-- The manager decided she was going to help the bride cut the cake, but that is my kid’s job as the wedding coordinator. As daughter approached the cake table, the manager of the location thwapped my daughter’s arm –with the serrated cake knife!!!! She now has serrated scab marks on her arm. The security guard was notified and the woman was escorted out.

-- When the bride and groom got ready to go to their room, the manager re-appeared and said they couldn’t stay there. My daughter, who wanted to choke and cuss out the woman by this point, merely smiled and said, “No problem!” (which infuriated the manager!) and she got them a limo to another hotel and a room there.

-- My child has SIX PAGES of transgressions so far and will be discussing what to do next once the bride is back from her honeymoon. The mother of the bride said she would call when she “recovered.”

Some is funny funny – and other parts were just so funny because my dad is dying and we needed a huge laugh to keep it in perspective. I was so proud of my child for keeping her cool and she said it was a HUGE lesson for her. I told her, “How philosophical of you!”

- I had a client have an NST today. The nurse, an L&D RN who's been off the floor for the last 6 months, made snide comments about homebirth (which my client is NOT having) and then natural birth after my client said she was, indeed, going for an unmedicated VBAC. "You know those BRADLEY people? We always said you should just stamp 'CESAREAN' on their foreheads. It was a big joke for us." She went on to rag on birth plans off the internet (which, as you regular readers know, are not my fave thing either) and unrealistic wishes. "Why are they in the hospital in the first place?!" Great question. I didn't engage her loads and when I asked her if the couple and I could have some private time behind the curtain after the successful NST, she said, "Sure!" and charted just on the other side while I did a vaginal exam for my doula client.

I shook my head and chuckled about her natural birthing attitude, knowing it is the norm in L&D's around the country. Sad, but true.

However, my own daughters made the whole day just great! I needed the laughs.

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Reader Comments (4)


It makes me crazy when other nurses start this crap when a "birthplanner" comes onto our unit (I'm privileged to be the "crunchy" nurse...so I get assigned to these folks every time...and I love it!)...I just laugh and tell 'em all to knock it off...and usually it just ends up being good natured banter between us; but I can't believe the gall of a nurse to spout this venom right to face of a woman and her midwife/doula! So much for "customer service"!

I've never understood why some nurses and physicians make such a big deal about someone who has a birth plan...why would they expect anyone to just walk on to a labor unit on one of the biggest days of their lives, and let everybody else call the shots for their birthing? Do they think they are such experts that they are offended that a woman and her family would dare to claim authority over her own body and experience? What amazes me even more is that so many nurses who do this claim to be "pro-choice"...so why don't they extend their belief that a woman has the right to make decisions about her own body to the completion of a pregnancy as well as the termination of one?

I could go on forever; but I won't bore you with any more...it'll just frustrate me more, LOL!

Love your blog...keep it coming.


October 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRedRn

Re: Birth plans -- when I went into the hospital in labor two months ago, they asked me if I had a birth plan (I guess they're used to it with a rotation of 6 midwives on staff), and I told them I did. It was about 5 things handwritten on a 3 x 5 index card (i.e. let the cord stop pulsating before cutting, no hep B or erithromycin for baby, no IV or pitocin unless warranted, etc.). The look on their faces was priceless when I handed it over. They loved it, and told me that more often than not, they get manila envelopes filled with pages and pages of demands.

The Bradley comment reminds me of something else -- on an episode of A Baby Story the other day, there was a Hispanic couple featured in which the husband stated a number of times, "We're not going to have an epidural. I don't believe in them". I don't know what kind of prep mom did for a natural birth, but it didn't seem like much. She didn't want to walk, didn't want to get off her back in bed, etc. Well, needless to say, mom was absolutely miserable and labored to only 4cm after about 24 hours. Mom wanted the epi bad and dad kept on pressuring her against it. I really wanted to smack the guy through my TV! Once mom finally got it, she relaxed, got to sleep some, and pushed the baby out on her own. Bottom line, I think that having a predetermined sense of how one is going to deal with certain situations (IOW, coming in with a plan or "method") but being open to change should complications arise can only make folks better off. The "being open to change" part is where I imagine a lot of folks get stuck.

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commentericedancer

Your wedding story reminded me of my own wedding, which was also an outdoor wedding that was close to ruined by the bad management at the location. Luckily, we had a family friend who is a lawyer in attendance. After the wedding, we started legal proceedings, which the location settled out of court by cutting what was left of our bill.

October 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

I'm with RedRN re: L&D nurses. I am also one of "those" crunchy granola L&D nurses, and I get many of the natural birthers, or those with birth plans. Honestly though, we don't see too many birth plans where I work --- the majority of women do not attend childbirth preparation classes, and the only thing they want out of their birth is the epidural. So, I can see where the attitude of some L&D nurses is coming from -- since we don't see many natural birthers. Some ask "why have the pain, when the epidural is available?" Ugh. Because it's a woman's choice as to how she wants her birth to go.

Yes, it is easier for the L&D nurse to have an epiduralized patient to care for. We simply watch the monitor, and occasionally go in the room to check on the woman. But a natural birther - we actually have to by physically and emotionally present to support her, when needed. Some of the newer nurses just don't know how to handle all of that, and do not know about coping techniques.

October 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteratyourcervix

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