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In my lifetime...

...I have (personally) seen "colored" water fountains, blacks not being allowed in the front door of hotels and only allowed in at all to clean them and whole schools that didn't even have a black person in until I was in 6th grade (1972). I remember Martin Luther King being killed 40 years ago.

Forty years ago.

The Civil Rights Movement was only 30-50 years ago.

No words can describe how proud I am of our country's growth through so much pain and evil.

There are no words to describe how full my heart is this evening.

You'll just have to trust me on this one.


Reader Comments (13)

right there with you Barb...I am sitting in bed weeping with joy with my husband...we are debating if we should wake our 3.5 year old to tell him or if it can wait till morning...Now let's just get a no vote on prop 8 and we will be on an amazingly hopeful path

November 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLori

I guess at this point, it looks like we lost 8 (the right to marriage for gays and lesbians). *sigh*

Sarah and I could use yet another wedding, right?


If we can have an African-American president, can complete civil rights for the homos be far behind?

November 4, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

It can't be far behind but how amazing would it be to have them both in the same night...

November 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLori

30? Or 40?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlison Cummins

So, my new tag line:

We elected an African-American president... can civil rights be far behind?

This doesn't change anything in my life. No law can change my relationship with Sarah. We are so used to not having our civil right to marry, it is almost an "ehhh" whatever kind of thing, this voting that marriage is between a man and a woman. In our life, that's how it's always been. While it would have been wondrous to have the majority validate our love, nothing can take it away.

November 5, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

Amen, sister!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Here in NJ, there are civil unions, officially recognized with the same rights as "marriage." Its just not yet called marriage. Do you have CU's in CA? Was prop 8 banning the term, "marriage," or was it more? Jen B

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen B

Ha! 40... I fixed it. :)

November 5, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

Civil unions are not the same as marriage. Here, from the NJ's own website:

What's the difference between a domestic partnership and full marriage?

There are over a thousand benefits awarded to couples who legally marry. Domestic partnerships and civil unions are forms of marriage, but they do not provide the full list of benefits, thus fall short of full marriage. The benefits allotted under domestic partnerships and civil unions vary by the state that allows them (California, Vermont and Connecticut).

Full rights don't require a zillion pieces of legal papers to ensure my partner won't be shut out in times of stress and pain... either emotionally or physically. Marriages cannot be dissolved on a whim; relationships, domestic partnerships and even civil unions require a stroke of the pen (if that) to extinguish, nothing more. A marriage is the promise of a lifetime committment with each other and requires a legal divorce to dissolve.

I want it all.

November 5, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

Maybe I misunderstood this statement, from Gov Corzine's Statement on Civil Union Report, dated 2/19/08

Governor Corzine signed the state's Civil Union Bill on December 21, 2006. The bill gives individuals in civil unions all of the rights granted to married couples, including the rights of hospital visitation, the ability to collect survivor benefits, and eligibility for tax deductions. Businesses, public and private employers, organizations and institutions will be required to treat civil union couples in the same manner as married persons are treated.

I don't know about the divorce part of it, but I thought "all of the rights" meant just that. Did I misunderstand, or is this statement incorrect?
BTW, today is my anniversary, so I guess that gives this a little more meaning to me. Makes me a little more appreciative of what I have. Jen B

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen B


Besides this article, there are sites that state civil unions leave gay and lesbian couples out of 1,138 rights that heterosexual married couples have access to, mainly federal benefits/responsibilities, including, but not limited to income tax laws and even something as basic as state-to-state recognition; if I went to New Jersey, even if I have my CA marriage certificate, I would need to do a civil union in NJ.

A really big one that my partner Sarah likes to speak out about is the ability for a spouse to be exempt from testifying against your husband or wife during a jury trial. Homosexual couples do not have this privilege and would be required to testify against their partner, say, in a murder trial.

There is a great list of some of the laws/privileges/responsibilities that do not apply to civil unions, but do apply to married couples.


November 6, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

I guess what we are talking about is the intention of the law (granting full rights) and its application (spotty at best). The cite I used previously talks about exactly that. Religious reasons aside, I don't see how calling your relationship marriage in any way depletes my relationship with my husband. I just don't get it. Sad.

November 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen B

I really do appreciate your thoughts, but you have to know it's firing me up even more than the passing of 8! *laughing*

But, the "intention" still wouldn't cover what you get as a married woman. And there is no need for "intention" when someone gets married... it just -is-. How much I wish I, too, could just get married and that be the answer to any of the questions asked.


November 6, 2008 | Registered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

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