So, I try to be eloquent, but sometimes another blogger puts what I want to say so perfectly, I am almost embarrassed that I tried to stutter the words at all.
Kneelingwoman - Michelle - wrote a post that got eaten the other day, but, happily, she re-wrote the entire long piece. (We told her to write in Word!)
Please, please go read the entire post - Back to the Garden. No matter your stance on midwifery education, you are sure to be reminded of - or learn - something that will impact your calling/profession immediately.
Excerpts (and I did take a lot of her words, but there are more... wonderful words on her blog. Please go read them):
- We are a fractured profession with relationships constructed around a false front of unity in a central theme; but not of a shared reality.
- ...I see Midwifery taking on the dynamics of a highly dysfunctional family. Midwives who "color outside the lines" or who fail, in some way, to ensure that "outsiders" don't know "our" business; are threatened, bullied, maligned, blacklisted or, in some other way, isolated and rejected by their peers. Just as in family systems where whole lives are lived in closely guarded spaces of secrecy and anger and the one who begins to tell the truth becomes the scapegoat; so it often is in Midwifery. In an ironic twist; all of these things are fueled by fear and, as all Midwives know, fear is the enemy of birth--of a person, an idea or a profession.
- moving to another letter written to me by someone in the Midwifery leadership a week or so ago that tells me that "the BMJ study proves that more education doesn't improve outcomes" and "I don't see that CNM's have any more economic security; a lot of them are losing their jobs so I don't see how a University education of the kind you're proposing insures anything". Sighing deeply, I respond that I hadn't thought that the BMJ was designed to prove that contention and therefore, can't. I comment that a CNM, as a Registered Nurse, is still very employable, with a well paying credential as a Nurse even if she can't, regretably, find a job as a Midwife. A direct entry midwife, in contrast, may have nothing else, no other education or training, with which to make a living. I think that's a very big problem and I find it very concerning that the people in "leadership" positions in Midwifery can make such unsupportable comments or fail to see the connection between a broader, more diverse education and a more viable and sustainable, Profession.
- We need a midwifery that is cooperative and accountable to the other health care professions with whom we MUST collaborate and work alongside to ensure safe practice!
- The fear that drives the rejection of examining new models or promotes a rigid clinging to concepts of "apprenticeship" and "woman centered care"as sacred cows; or the idea that altering our education to meet new needs and desires takes something away from midwifery, is preventing the labor from bringing something to birth! We are a "post dates" pregnancy holding off any intervention until there are no more choices left. That is not wise. That is not being "with women". It is telling the women--the vast majority of women, that what matters in midwifery is the midwives alone; our comfort level and our standards. It seems, and is, inflexible and exclusive; not diverse or expansive.
- Midwives have to stop fearing that our inner-workings can't bear the scrutiny of physicians, legislators or the public. Sending up a warning flare or browbeating midwives who speak to these issues into submission and retraction does not solve a problem related to how we are perceived by those who will, in large part, determine our future. We have to remain transparent and open and accept criticism if needs be. We may need to change the way we do some things if we want to grow and remain viable. We should not fear hearing those criticisms nor should we attempt to restrict those who think we really need to take a second look at how we're doing things. We cannot continue to practice in isolation from the rest of the health care system while insisting that they include us! Midwifery is not an island and it most certainly is not some maternal paradise where all women are safe and welcome! For many women, mothers and practioners alike; midwifery becomes a place of uncertainty, financial and social insecurity and professional stagnation! That is not a sustainable vision; these are the marks of an unsustainable profession that won't get serious about examining it's preconceptions and conclusions to see if they work over time.
- We have gone overboard in telling women to trust their bodies and birth and we have not done a good job educating women about the inherent wildness and unpredictablity of birth. We seem to not know how to backtrack on this position without risking a wholesale return to the idea of allowing fear to dominate women's thinking about birth and the resultant potential "loss" of midwifery clientele. My response to this is, very clearly, "we have to find a way" because babies are dying and women are suffering because they are not taking any risks into account when they plan these births.
- I feel like the woman 'stuck' at 8 cm's who has moved every way she can; changed positions over and over, moaned and rocked and, now, reaches out for the hand of her midwife, her mate, her friends nearby.......there is no comfortable place until the deeper movement begins; the pushing and the force that brings birth.
- I think most of you know, by now, that I never write to inflict damage or pain but, sometimes, as in all birth, there is pain. I have found it deeply painful to see what I've had to see over these last two weeks. To not speak to it would be to reinhabit an old life; a way of being learned in childhood--of secrecy, of never owning my own ideas and thoughts because I believed the threats and the attempts to control and I believed that my voice didn't matter........we grow up and, if we're lucky and someone helps us, we learn that these things aren't true.
- We have to set an example of peaceful reconciliation and inclusivity; a true and generous inclusion that knows that all birthing women matter and knows, as well, that Midwifery is a wise, old woman---a Crone now---who can embrace paradox, hold the tension between conflicting and overlapping needs and become a true force for good for women and families.
Michelle's words, so poetic and enfolding visions of birth, touched me deeply. Not only because she quotes me and knows of my own experiences in my pulled down piece ("Midwifery Education,") but because she, a "seeing" woman, recognizes nuances I had never considered.
As a woman who was abused as a child, I absolutely see the Truth in what she says regarding our speaking out about the need for more education in midwifery is exactly parallel to a child spilling the beans about incest; disgust, disbelief, anger, manipulation, teasing, threatening and withdrawing of love, support or even acknowledgement. How is midwifery supposed to survive at all if the participant midwives can't even speak with kindness to one another? What happened to human decency? My initial responses, even, mimicked that of a hurt child... apologetic, thinking I was wrong, embarrassed that I'd opened my mouth and feeling shame that I betrayed The Sisterhood.
But, I shook my head and cleared the angry fog out of my brain and saw that I hadn't done anything wrong! I spoke my Truth. MY. MINE.
Listening to those that critiqued my removed piece was a really interesting study in human communication. I see where some people could feel anger and frustration at what I wrote and that I was "dissing" midwifery altogether. I'm hoping my WHO piece puts that to rest. I do acknowledge I probably could have written a (somewhat) less inflamed post, but I wrote what I felt/feel. And, after all, it is a blog - MY blog - and my opinion isn't the be-all-and-end-all to midwives, students or apprentices. Sometimes, my writing provokes. I'm certainly not trying to provoke violence (of which I feel some people danced quite near to), but am wanting to provoke thought, wonder, curiosity and solutions. What the heck is so wrong with that?
I'm not wanting to sit here and defend myself (again), but it's all tied in together. This educational component and the subsequent disturbance of the mention of such education reflects on ALL of midwifery - those that agree and those that don't.
What I am coming to realize is that maybe it isn't just education that midwifery needs, but some serious classes in Ethics and Professionalism.
More on that in a soon-to-be post.