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Thursday
Aug212008

Ch-ch-ch-changes

When you have a sec, you can go take a gander at my new website. It's a definite work in progress, but it's a start.

Ama Mama Midwifery is my new venture towards my Self with my clients.

I've put my blogs up on the site so anyone considering hiring me can know me in ways they might not otherwise know their midwife ( or WANT to know their midwife!).

We're having a giant yard sale Saturday. And I do mean giant! We easily have over 400 items to sell, from bookcases, office chairs and desks to Disney watches (13!), Judaica (plenty of mazzuzot and "Becoming a Jew" books) and a zillion and a half toys and video tapes (Disney and otherwise!). We have 12 air purifiers, 9 cd players, 7 four-line phone systems (and a partridge in a pear tree!) and 5 door-length mirrors. Anyone need to buy in bulk?

My dad started his chemo, but was waylaid because of the Tropical Storm for a couple of days. His hemoglobin was a 7 the day he began, so had to have a couple of units of blood before they would give him his next treatment.

I'm in a weird place about the chemo. I don't think he should be doing it because his quality of life is so good now, I hate to think of him feeling worse, but maybe living a couple of months longer. I voiced my opinion when we were sitting with the Hospice nurse (dad was put on the "pending" list until he makes a final decision to quit chemo), but then came across - and bought - a card that spoke about how easy it is to be an armchair quarterback when making these sorts of decisions, but it isn't me who's going through the cancer... and that I support his decision, even if it isn't the same one I might make for myself.

And would I not fight? Would I "just quit?" Or is it "coming to a place of peace with my mortality." When I was so sick with the cocci, I think I was so in the middle of it, I didn't think about dying all that much. Sarah thought of my dying a lot; I think it was good that I didn't so much. I worked hard at visualizing healing, but not so much about not living.

I'm loving the Olympics! What are they feeding those Jamaicans that they run so bloody fast? Were the volleyball players the coolest to play in the rain and slam down in the wet sand when they won? I don't think I could play volleyball on tv.

- I jiggle way too much. Even standing still.
- I can't wear a see-through white bikini without being somewhat self-conscious.
- I can't run through sand... and would fall on my face even without the added complication of trying to spike a ball.
- I would cry if the ball hit me.

The gymnastics were fun, but didn't WOW me like previous Olympics.

However, that Michael Phelps? There are NO WORDS to say how proud I am of that young man. That he takes the shitty things that people say about him and LOVES what they say, eating the words like nourishment to drive him harder and harder - what a fantastic lesson that is for us. For me. Talk about "not taking things personally" to a higher level! I need to remember Phelps when comments threaten to make me cry. Instead, I will practice arming myself with pride, loving that people are expending that much energy on me at all. Energy, after all, can be manipulated, right? Life's what we make it and Michael Phelps is creating a glorious one for himself. I am so proud of him!

It's a hoot to see some of the sports in the Olympics. Trampoline? Now, I love watching it, but really. And I still can't believe Rhythmic Gymnastics... namely, THE ROPE... is an Olympic sport. And now BMX racing? Gimme a dang break. I didn't get to watch any of the Synchronized Swimming this year and I love, love, love it! Those women are incredible.

I'm doing well and am happy. Sad, but happy... if that makes any sense whatsoever.

I think you know what I mean. That word... bittersweet. It says so much.

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    - Navelgazing Midwife Blog - Ch-ch-ch-changes

Reader Comments (7)

Maybe this is common knowledge, but news to me: apparently Michael Phelps was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD as a kid & his single mom got him into swimming to help him focus his energy.
That's cool about him loving the bad with the good...
The site looks great - nice to put a face with your blog!

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoulaMomma

Oh my god, am I ever an idiot! I've been reading your blog for a few months now, and often wistfully thought of how nice it would be to have you as midwife for my next child. (We plan on TTC early 09, our first will be about 18 months at that time)

So we move to San Diego (we're military) next spring or summer, and just for curiousity's sake I started looking up SD midwives.

Lo and behold! Man, am I ever excited now. Lol.

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStassja

Your site looks fantastic. Best of luck with it all!

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMommy Dearest

It's funny, because here, Midwifery is covered under the provincial health insurance (hurrah!) In this city however, there are only 2 groups of midwives - between 6-8 per practice, and their occasional students/residents/whatever.

The problem is, when you sign up with one of the groups you are assigned a MW based on when you're due: Ie: #3 is due at the end of december, and the MW who I had last time and loved, has booked her xmas holidays - so I get a different MW. I'm lucky in that this one seems to be of a similar mindset, but I know of 3-4 in the practice that I would refer to more as "med-wife". Just makes me wish I had more choice in who I was assigned to. I'm certain though, since this is my second home baby (assuming all goes well...) that I'll get the same quality of birth I had with #2.


(Also, your blog has a google "offensive content" warning when you first hit it now...)

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

How funny is that? I'm flattered!

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNavelgazing Midwife

Wow, surprised to visit your site tonight and to have to go past the new content warning, didja know it was there? Maybe someone was offended by breasts? Before asking readers to continue or not it says:

Content Warning
Some readers of this blog have contacted Google because they believe this blog's content is objectionable. In general, Google does not review nor do we endorse the content of this or any blog. For more information about our content policies, please visit the Blogger Terms of Service

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter::::wifemothermaniac::::

Somebody reported your blog as having "objectionable content"?! There are a lot of things on the internet tha are objectionable and your blog is NOT one of them. Unless you know, you object to honesty, and exploration, and learning.... *Sigh*

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarahthedoula

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