I'm watching a movie called "Motherhood" for the second time tonight.
Besides the really great examples of the plethora of mothers out in the real world, Uma Thurman's character is a blogger.
I've taken to watching movies about bloggers.
Even if the movie is on as background noise, I find blogger sub-texts fascinating. I'm trying really hard to mash the inspiration I see/hear into my psyche, hoping the end result will be more blog posts.
Something's missing in the translation.
I think about bloggers a lot. I try imagining the men and women, pecking away on their keyboards, some smoking incessantly, sloppily sipping Diet Coke. Or mommy bloggers who shoosh their kids over and over again... or sit their brood down at the dining room table with a crafty project that keeps them occupied for three hour spurts so mom can write fascinating observations about other moms' lives. Those bloggers always get published.
What about the nursey/midwife bloggers like me; where do they find the time? I think I have more time because my client load is light, because I have grown kids, because I only have to feed the dogs twice a day... and I can snack on almonds and raisins for hours on end without getting up except to pee. So, if I have more time, where the hell are my posts? If magazine articles were flowing like waterfalls from my fingertips, I'd kind of give me a hall pass.
But for crying in a bucket, my words are constipated, impacted... needing some Citracel caplets to eek out even a few syllables.
Maybe if I watch "Julie & Julia" one more time.
Uma Thurman's mama-character carries her Mac around with her, seemingly, everywhere. She peeks her head up while watching her son play at the public playground. She tippity taps in few moments' long spurts; how she keeps a coherent point through fits and starts is beyond me.
But, she doesn't write tomes. She writes three and four lines of thoughts at a time, those brief glimpses into her world, published several times a day. Her words demonstrate the length of time she can focus on any one thing, yet the running dialogue simmers quietly beneath the surface of her crazy frazzled life.
Oddly, I've evolved from a pretty easy-going blogger to one who feels that every. single. post. must. make. A. Statement. Where did my fun side go? Where's the humor in always nit-picking about midwifery, medicine and birth? I've lost my silly side as the blogging years have passed. I wonder where she is?
Maybe I don't need to write forever-long posts all the time. Maybe I don't always need to research my ass off before hitting the publish key. Maybe I can write three or four line posts that inspire thoughts and questions beyond "And she said this why?"
Maybe I can be funny sometimes.
Maybe I can have regular BMs with the computer... Blogging Moments. I'd certainly like to try.