Monday
Apr302012
Cesarean Scar: Marilyn H.
Monday, April 30, 2012 at 05:15PM My scar says "I am your story".
I don't have a picture of my scar. I don't look at it. I don't touch it because it still feels like it will tear me to shreds - almost 7 years later. I keep it tucked away, but I never forget it is there. It used to remind me of lies, pain, silence, and of the feeling of being completely alone. Some days, it still does.
Mostly I know now that it was my journey. Life-changing, and ever-evolving.
I don't love my scar, but I'm not afraid of it anymore. We've learned to accept each other.
I love my child, I'm glad he is here. But this scar is mine. It's my demon, my past. It keeps company with other scars, old wounds, fractured dreams, muffled cries - fault lines of my soul. These are all my stories. They make me the woman I am.
Oregon
tagged Emotional Scar in Primary Cesarean
Emotional Scar in Primary Cesarean
Reader Comments (1)
I'm fat enough that I can't see my C/S scar, which is really 4 scars since I had three C/Ss, plus an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in the removal of a Fallopian tube [and the doctor tied my other tube at the same time, as I was 41 and had no desire for any more children]. If I could see it, I'd think it was a badge of glory, since by virtue of my C/Ss, I now have three healthy, happy adult children, one of whom last year gave birth to my first grandchild who is a never-ending delight. Since she was breech, she was also born by C/S.
What a fuss about nothing. It is a scar, nothing more, just like the scar I got a month ago from my hip replacement [which is bigger and uglier, btw]. I think that all these women who obsess over their "failure" to give birth vaginally should be eternally grateful that science has progressed to such an extent that what could have been a terrible disaster -- mother dead, baby dead or irreparably damaged -- can now be averted.