Tuesday, May 1, 2012 at 03:25AM
My scar is still numb, almost sixteen years later. I'm still angry about it all, the whole thing should never have happened.
I planned for a normal, unmedicated, midwife assisted delivery and then two full years of unhindered breastfeeding no supplements.
That's not what I got!
What I did get was a midwife who had no idea how to support me, whom I saw twice throughout two days of being induced! She loved the idea of inducing me for big baby late date fears, then went on to breaking my waters to bring my baby down, she didn't allow me to have food for then entire two full days of induction,(my mother snuck me in a hamburger and fries when they turned off the pit that night!). I didn't want drugs of any kind, so no epidural or narcotics for the intense back to back contractions the pit brought. IV fluids of course, so swollen feet and legs, no mobility outside of using the restroom, 100% of the time being hooked up to a monitor which really annoyed me! I basically pushed flat on my back with no urge to push at all but being instructed to do so anyway.... for two in half hours!
I did finally get an urge to push, but I was already rolled into the OR and the doctor was already putting in the spinal, so I was YELLED AT TO STOP because they didn't want to have to shove him back up into the birth canal. They had to anyway, because being upright for the spinal was what I needed to help my baby get down. Nobody talked to me during my surgery or told me what they were doing, I felt like throwing up the entire time, then they sliced my bladder, so I now have chronic UTI's. I got postpartum infections back to back, mastitis so severe that I ended up bottle feeding. That surgery then lead to two more for adhesion's and then the third for a ruptured ectopic that resulted in removal of my right tube, not to mention almost dying.... The top of my left thigh is forever numb as well..... Good times!!
There are times however, even with all of that that I am indeed grateful that it did happen. Why? I went on to HBAC four beautiful children (whom were all bigger!). I am now very educated about my body and how it works and help others become educated as well.
All in all I'm still pissed........... fifteen, in June 16 years later. I don't believe that will ever change. AND I don't trust OB's as far as I can throw them!