This is my blog and it is midwifery oriented, but there's something going on in my life that I want to blog about and it's just going to have to be here. At least it will make the site more active again!
And it is relevant to midwifery.
I am fat. Very, very fat. As I've gotten bigger, it's gotten harder to doula more than once a month because it is really hard on my body. While I am at the birth, I am totally mobile and active, but afterwards, it takes days to recover. This is so hard to admit, but so important to talk about, especially for fat doulas who continue gaining weight. I am the fattest doula I know, in real life or otherwise.
I am damn tired of being fat. It can't be good for me, not just physically, but also emotionally. It has caused me to limit my interactions outside of the house, so much so that I get anxious even leaving the house. I am so sick of that!
So, Zack and I were channel-surfing in December and I stopped on PBS with Dr. Joel Fuhrman talking about Eat to Live, a diet/program that focuses on vegetables and fruits as its base for health. It isn't vegetarian/vegan, but certainly could be depending on how one does the program.
I've been doing Eat to Live (E2L) for a month now and am already down 19 pounds. In a month! Before those 19 pounds gone, when I walked down stairs, I had to go one step at a time, sideways. Now, I can walk down stairs normally and that small change alone has been really cool. Otherwise, I haven't felt much different. My skirts are getting longer, showing that my belly or butt is getting smaller. I think it's stomach, which is great; less chance of recurring diabetes.
I have no health problems at the moment. Hemoglobin A1c is a normal 5.9 (although I will find out the most recent one in a couple of weeks), Blood Pressure is normal. Kidney & Liver labs are all normal (my kidneys are doing so well I've gone from Stage 3 Kidney Disease to Stage 2!). Lipid panel is all normal, but my HDL could be higher. So many of those who start E2L are really sick and have that motivation. Mine is fat and a desire to continue with my healthy labs.
I've been on diets my whole life. I was on Phen-Fen in 1996 and lost 111 pounds. I had a gastric bypass in 2001 and lost 190 pounds. Blessedly, I never got up to my fattest, but I sure did damage to my GB weight loss. The idea of another diet is depressing, which is why E2L is something more for me.
I have not had a second of hunger. It takes almost zero discipline to do this except for choosing the foods to eat. I never did well with structured plans... failed miserably with Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous, the Lean Cuisine Diet... anything that made me measure or eat smaller portions failed. This gal wants to eat and the E2L allows me to do that, even though the choices are not the typical Standard American Diet (SAD).
Don't get me wrong. I miss my peanut butter toast, cheese and casseroles, but I am enjoying walking down the stairs better. I know I will never be able to go back to eating the old way and that has created mourning in my heart (food addiction, anyone?), but I cannot be this fat anymore.
The main focus for me is Gabriella. My 17-month old granddaughter. I want to play with her, run around with her and enjoy her life as a toddler and growing kid. I want to be alive to see her find a loving partner one day. I want to see my other grandbabies that aren't even here yet.
I can do this. I have to do this.
So, I'm going to write about my journey on E2L here. I will continue to put OT in the title so those who couldn't care less can pass it by. I do, however, know I will intertwine the weight loss with doula/monitrice work. I eventually want to take 2-3 clients a month... and look forward to do that.
Those who continue reading, welcome!