Tuesday, May 1, 2012 at 03:12AM
In dec 09 i went into labour 4 days early with my first baby, Labour progressed well, i maintained mobility but after 6.5 hours of pushing i was transfered from the community hospital, to a larger hospital. I was assesed and they decided to try the ventouse to no avail, forceps was used and during this my sons heart rate dropped to 38 bpm, it was there and then they gave me the C section. My son was born 7lb 11oz, bruised and battered. He was aparently in the deep transverse arrest postion. I was very ill post birth needing blood transfusion then becoming septic with mastitis needing IV antibiotics 8 days later. The consultant told me i would have to have C sections with my next children, unless i grew smaller ones by taking up smoking!!!!!
When i look at my scar i can see it laughing at me...taunting me; everytime i see it, i hear it saying "you failed, you failed",
When i touch it i feel the pain of not being able to birth my baby properly....that pain will stay with me forever. But it also gives me the drive to believe i can do it naturally next time, it spurs on my need to educate myself and believe in myself. I believe in my body and will be attempting a VBAC or HBAC next time