my cesarean scar is a reminder to be grateful.
i lost my first daughter during labor at an out of hospital birth center. heart tones were lost on her mere minutes before she made her entrance to the outside world. she was unable to be resuscitated. her absence in my life is felt each and every day.
when i became pregnant again, i wondered if i could go through another vaginal delivery. my body took a beating during my first labor...severe laceration, bladder damage resulting in a month's worth of self-catheterizing at home, post partum hemorrhage resulting in multiple blood transfusions, and a surgery to remove my retained placenta. all on top of losing my first born child.
in the end i opted for a cesarean delivery, and it was the best choice i could have made. my cesarean was awesome! it was over in 28 minutes (compared to my first 48 hour labor) and my daughter was alive!! my daughter was placed immediately on my chest and she was able to stay with me while i was sewn up. after getting checked out by the nurses, my daughter was placed back in my arms and we ere wheeled back to our room together. we nursed together right away, and snuggled all night. it was beyond perfect. and the cherry on top was that my recovery was a breeze compared to my first delivery.
just the other day i complained to myself about my cesarean scar itching. then i reminded myself to be grateful. a baby--my beautiful daughter--was born through that incision. a big thing happened there!
its ok to be upset over the appearance or the itch of my scar. as long as my next thought is to be grateful. grateful for life. for my body. for cesareans. and the people who perform them. and for my living, breathing baby girl.