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Entries in Jr. Temecula (1)


In Honor of Silvia Frank

Addendum 12/9/2010 - 8pm - For those wanting to donate funds to the five girls, ages 3 to 17, here is the bank information you will need.

Routing#: 322274527
Acct#: 1020018003
"Frank Girls"

Addendum 12/3/2010 - 9pm - Silvia's funeral/viewing will be held on Saturday, December 11th, from 12 P.M. to 4 P.M. IT WILL BE FOR FOUR HOURS ONLY--AND ONLY ON THIS DAY The funeral home is:

McWane Family Funeral Home
350 North San Jacinto Street
Hemet, CA 92543-3110
(951) 658-9497

Hemet Valley Medical Center - 1117 East Devonshire Avenue, Hemet, California, 92543 951-652-2811 is collecting gifts of food, money and presents for the girls. An account has been set up so donations can be deposited directly into an account for them. I will post the account information as soon as I have it.

Wrapped Christmas presents for the girls may also be brought/sent to the hospital. Their ages are: 3 (on Christmas Eve, so she will also need birthday presents), 4, 13, 15 and 17. The gifts do not need to be extravagant; any gift will be much appreciated.

(The original piece below.)

I just learned that one of my clients, a mom of five girls, two for whom I was the midwife, was shot dead by her estranged husband last night. I am crazy with anger at her husband and excruciatingly sad for those girls who range in age from 17 down to 3. I hardly have words. 

Silvia was a Labor & Delivery Nurse who defied her peers and had homebirths anyway, knowing they were, for her, safer than being in the hospital. The two births where I was with her, she labored happily, albeit loudly. The second to the last birth was in her bed; the last one, on Christmas Eve three years ago, in her bathtub. 

She lived for those girls. 

People always asked her if she kept having babies trying to get a boy. She rarely told anyone she had already had a son, but that he’d died at birth. During the pregnancy with her baby boy, her membranes ruptured, before labor began, and she’d had a vasa previa with a velamentous insertion; the baby died before she got to the hospital via ambulance. She insisted on a natural birth and after her son was born, the family stayed with him for about twelve hours before letting him go. She kept pictures of him on an alter (of sorts) and he was a part of each birth she had. Many of her doctor and nurse friends thought she was nuts to have a homebirth anyway, but especially after her son died. She knew, of course, how rare and random the death had been and kept her heart focused on homebirths. 

Silvia wanted to be a midwife in the worst way. She talked to me often about apprenticing with me, after the girls were grown, she said. Nursing was a way for her to feed the family even though she really disliked the role she played in so many births; it was tough for her to witness the (often) 50% cesarean rate at the hospitals she worked in. She’d call or message me and we’d decompress together after particularly gnarly births. She never lost her midwife-heart. 

One of her nurse-friends sent me an email this morning, letting me know about Silvia’s death, that her husband had killed her, in front of one of her girls, as she was walking out of a restaurant. I can’t find anything in the news yet, but keep watching. Her friend told me she knew I’d want to know, that Silvia talked about me all the time and loved imagining herself being a homebirth midwife someday.

(Addendum 12/3/2010 - Yesterday, Frank {as her husband is known, not Wilbert] was charged with murder and denied bail. This is also the most recent news report: Wife shot, killed in front of San Jacinto restaurant - Frank's mug shot gives me the shivers.)

I cannot believe she is gone. My heart is breaking, but mostly for those girls. I don’t know where they will go, but I will always stay in touch with them.

If you could please send loving thoughts and prayers to her beautiful daughters, I know they would feel your kindness and compassion. Also pray for justice for her evil husband who could rip their mother from their lives. 

For now, I will remember her, laboring, birthing and nursing her baby girls. Silvia was such a light in my life. And now, I can’t even believe it, she is gone.