So, I was trying to read this morning, but couldn’t keep my mind on the words and was grabbing the computer to head into Facebook, but thought perhaps I should try to quiet my mind and grabbed my phone instead.
I’ve downloaded a couple of cool apps that allow me to set a timer with a woo bell so I can focus my breathing anywhere. (I’m having a really hard time calling it meditating… just seems too woo woo for me right now.) I set the timer and put my hand on my belly and then, for four minutes, I proceeded to not pay attention to my breathing. Instead, my thoughts bounced around like heated atoms in a pan of boiling water.
I kept thinking I wasn’t breathing right. The timer was winding down. Usher the thoughts out gently. No judgment. Why did my son send me an apology? What did he do? Don’t worry… usher the thought out. No judgment. Did he break something? The time is winding down. Breath. Breath. Feel the breath. Breathe deeply. Maybe I should have focused on something instead of my breath. The elephant, maybe. Maybe the origami bird? I need to learn how to focus on my breath though. I do take it with me everywhere. Can’t carry the elephant everywhere. Stop thinking! Usher the thoughts out. Shove the damn things out. Out, thoughts! Is the bell going to ring? I’m spending four minutes without being mindful. I’m going to have to do this all over again.
The woo bell chimes.
For crying in a bucket. That sucked.
My meditation elephant.