Log onto Squarespace
Archives

Entries in secrets (1)

Tuesday
Aug212007

Tagged - 8 Secrets About Me

Rules:

People who are tagged need to write in their own blog these rules & the eight things. At the end of the your blog post, tag six people and list their (blog) names. Leave a comment on their blog telling them they've been tagged and encourage them to read your blog.

8 Things You May Not Know About Me (or care)

1. I despise camping. It's dirty. I have to pee outside. There's bugs. There's no room service. I sweat. You have to build your own house. Blech.

2. I had Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy - fell over a scale (of all things), broke my ankle, had 2 surgeries to fix it and developed RSD because of hemoarthrosis (bleeding inside the joint). I didn't walk for 3 years, taking 2 more years to re-learn to walk after finally controlling the pain enough with self-hypnosis and bio-feedback. During the 3 years of not walking, I'd given myself IM injections of morphine and buprenex, lived in a haze of unbearable pain and drugs, wanted to kill myself as I'd been told I would only get worse and every specialist validated that "fact." Only the Internet (and Disney!) saved me (I was a chat addict) - I was the "Feral Mermaid" on-line back then... could only swim as my unhindered (but still excruciating) movement. Worker's Comp paid for my membership to the Y and I lived in the water as much as I could. When I began walking, it was with a walker, then cane and then limp... and now, I always live in a state of keeping the pain at bay. When I am especially tired, the RSD reminds me it is there. But, I refuse to allow it to live in the front yard.

3. When I die, I want my ashes spread all over Disney World. My family knows to each take a portion of me in baggies and wander around and go on rides that I liked and have a blast spreading me around. The majority is to go at the base of the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom.

4. I went to jail for Welfare Fraud. I spent 20 days total (in two increments), did 300 hours of community service, paid back all I owed, plus restitution and 5 years of probation for accepting AFDC and working at the same time when my kids were little and I wasn't getting child support from their father and didn't make enough $$ to pay the rent AND buy food in the same month. We were eating from food banks and when I went to work at Planned Parenthood, I saw it as an opportunity to catch up a little and didn't tell the government I was working. Over a decade later, someone (who shall remain nameless because he reads my blog) told the government where I was and they came and arrested me in front of my then 13-year old daughter and I went to jail. It was an interesting journey, that jail shit. I wrote about it before. Maybe I'll share about it again someday. It kept me from getting my midwifery license for awhile, too, but they finally let me after I jumped through the hoops a half dozen times in tutus and glittery crowns. I own up to breaking the law (I was the only person in jail that was guilty, too), but wish it could have been different. Sometimes circumstances suck.

5. Sacagawea remains my favorite heroine. I tell her story at least once a week. Remember her? She led Lewis & Clark on the trail across the United States from St. Louis. When she started, she was 14 years old and had a 2-week old baby on her back! They trekked for 2 years across the country and back... she, nursing the whole way. Part of the way to Oregon, they ate candles and snow. When women ask me if they can drive to Los Angeles or Las Vegas or something, I tell them the Sacagawea story. Or if they wonder if their diet is okay... should they eat this spice or that vegetable, I tell her story. Sometimes I think moms think too much and Sacagawea helps moms get out of their heads.

6. I forged many of the vaccinations on my kids' yellow vaccination cards. (A criminal in many areas!)

7. When I was in Germany, I was called to the Frankfurt Army Regional Medical Center Nursery to come and nurse their babies that were being put up for adoption. The head nurse said, "These babies deserve as much love as they can get before they are dumped into The System." Of course, this was way before we were worried about HIV/Hep stuff.

8. I barfed in the same bowl at the same time as a laboring mom. It was rather hysterical. We both laughed through the heaving.

Okay, there you have it!

Now to tag the others. Let's see...

KristinaDouliciaSarah the Doula

 

 

Sunshine

One Tenacious Baby Mama

Learning to Catch Babies

Go read!